3OH!3 – Don’t Trust Me (One Minute Rule)

26 05 2009
30oh

If you look down at this, I get to hit your shoulder.

I’m already scared of this band’s name before even hitting play. I have no idea who this band is and I feel pretty old and out of the loop about it. I’m not too worried though because I can already tell that I’m going to hate this rock band or rap group or country artist or whatever the hell this is. At the time I write this, 3OH!3 is #7 on the Billboard top 100. Here we go…hitting play now.

Shit. I’m going to go insane if I keep this One Minute Rule segment up. This dude’s voice. There’s no lead in of any sort to the song which can be a good thing if done correctly. Not here jack. Apparently all the recording studios were booked so he literally had to phone this one in. 10 seconds in and there is no discernible hook, just a strange man kind of singing. Now we’ve got some beeps and boops going around. Who is this song for? Who wants this?

Well hello reverse cymbal! Glad you could make it to our song. Apparently the singer hung up the phone and he found a nearby microphone to sing into. I’m now 20 seconds in and I’m noticing that the singer ends his words with a bit of a bite. He’s a little saucy. It sounds like a bad Atmosphere ripoff. I think he said “My tongue is on the inside of some other girl’s teeth.” Not sure what that means.

Best line so far is “I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin’ scared of him.” Apparently they also thought highly of this line so they dropped out all of the instruments so we can all enjoy it more fully. Very big chorus at 30 seconds which is a small point as far as commercial songwriting goes. I’m not begrudging them that. Now it sounds like they got a female singer for the chorus I guess. Knowing nothing about this band, I’m going to assume that they would like to pass themselves off as a punk outfit which makes the Britney Spears-esque chorus all the more strange.

So now 43 seconds in we’re deep into the chorus and we hear the titular line. As far as I can tell, the “Don’t trust me” line doesn’t really jell with the rest of the lyrics, but they have much bigger problems to tackle first. And now we have “She wants to touch me who-ho!” What is happening here? Don’t touch him girl! He just told you not to trust him. Are you nuts!?

Constructive criticism: It might be vaguely listenable without the vocals. There isn’t much going on instrumentally but a standard four chord progression. Maybe someone could turn it into a weird dance song or something.

Verdict: I liked this song better when it was called “Kids” by MGMT.

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2 responses

7 08 2009
Cobra Starship – Good Girls Go Bad (One Minute Rule) « Fine Filter

[…] I think they might have got that guy from that group 3OH!3 to do the verse here. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping because if there are two guys […]

2 07 2010
Jon

haha totally agree with the bad atmosphere rip off comment

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