Shinedown – Second Chance (One Minute Rule)

1 06 2009

"If we get dropped, I wonder if I can do night shifts at 7-11?"

Today’s One Minute Rule features a band called Shinedown and their tune called “Second Chance.” I picked them off of the Billboard chart based soley on their band name. It reminds me of the countless rock bands I saw flyers for when I was in high school. Friday night at the VFW! It’s Emanon, Exit 17, and Shinedown! Canned goods will get you $2 off the door price! Be there!

From left to right, the band consists of Somegui Basistieu, two clones of that guy from Monster Magnet, and that one dude from Korn. Thanks in no small part to Satan himself, these fools are currently at the #15 spot on the Billboard top 100. Just for the record, I’ve never heard this song before or any of their other songs. Furthermore, I’m not looking forward to what will most certainly be a horrible experience by breaking my 25 year streak of never having heard anything this band has dumped out. Hitting play now…

In keeping with the high school motif, the intro guitar sounds like it was recorded on a $99 Tascam 4-track. We’ve got some seemingly random chords on an acoustic guitar. Whoa. 15 seconds in and the vocals come out nowhere after some weird-ass orchestral swell. What is this garbage? Am I listening to the right song here? Perhaps Billboard made a typo. This is really not what I was expecting by the look of these guys. The mellow and meandering vocals make it sound like some 70s ballad. Plus, extra lulz for the picture in the video at 26 seconds.

Things pick up with the at about the 24 second mark. To be totally honest, the verse melody is a bit catchy. Now we’ve got what is probably the pre-chorus and the guy sings “I just saw Halley’s comet,” which hasn’t passed by Earth since 1986. Presumably that’s how long these fools have been trying to get a label to release this junk. As we move on to the 52 second mark we still have no chorus yet. Perhaps they’re waiting for the next orbit of Halley’s comet in 2016. We’ve also got a lot more astronomy references like “man in the moon” and “stratoshpere.” I’m still not sure how any of this relates to second chances.

And theres the chorus at 53 seconds. Little late guys…I’ve got only got 7 more seconds for ya. And it looks like we’ve got another band half-assing their lyrics. “Tell my mother, tell my father.” I will. I’ve got two words for ’em and it’s not happy birthday. Nothing special about the chorus here at all. One of the few things worse than Nickelback copying bad grunge music is another band copying Nickelback copying bad grunge music.

Verdict: You’re in the big leagues now. No second chances.




5 responses

30 07 2009

I’m pretty sure you’re a fucking moron.

13 08 2009

I have the strong feeling with reading your..what do you call this..?? You would not know good music if it bit you in the ass.

13 08 2009

Well I tell ya what, bite my ass and we’ll see how it works out.

17 08 2009

This made me chuckle. To each his own.

19 10 2009

This is Amandas friend becca I’m pretty sure she would agree with me so I’m saying this for both of us. Shinedown is amazing them and Nickelback go hand in hand and like nate & aubree said your a moron and clearly doesnt have good taste in music if oyu have any at all. Get a life.
-Rock Till Death- (becca)

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