Passion Pit – Moth’s Wings (One Minute Rule)

6 06 2009

PassionPIt.Chess.ElizabethWeinberglowres

Can you guess where I got the song for today’s One Minute Rule? Billboard or Pitchfork? Judging by the abundance of thick-rimmed glasses, chuck taylors, and Goodwill shirts, I hope you said Pitchfork. After one of the Pitchfork writers went to McCarren Park and picked out five random people, he then got them loaded on PBR and threw them in a recording studio. The end result was then put on Pitchfork’s Best New Tracks list.

When choosing from the Billboard Top 100 I used to clarify whether or not I had ever heard of the artist or not, but here…of course I’ve never heard of these fools. Passion Pit? It sounds like the punchline to some old guy’s dirty joke. It sounds like a low-budget porno movie from the 50’s. Either way, it’s time to stop taking pictures for your music blog, put your digital camera in your man purse, and get out those lighters! Yeah! C’mon!

I’m taking a sip from my tall glass of Haterade and hitting play…now.

I don’t even know what that instrument that is. A sitar? A banjo? This sounds like it could be the opening credits to Juno or Eagle vs. Shark. Now I’m 20 seconds in and these guys are still playing the same riff. I guess these aren’t the kind of hipsters who do coke. C’mon, let’s pick it up. I got shit to do. What a snooze.

Ah. Ok, I’m awake. What did I miss? Oh, absolutely nothing. At 25 seconds they do a bombastic swell and then proceed to play another boring riff. I guess this is supposed to be the exciting part. It sounds like U2 plus Oasis plus Sigur Ros sped up. It’s like they took the end of a U2 song and put it at the beginning of theirs.

This may be a first for the One Minute Rule. I wonder if we can go the whole minute without hearing vocals on this one. I’m coming up to the 40 second mark and nothing yet. Ah damn. He’s singing.

Way too much kick drum going on here. I hate that sound. It’s like they’re trying to force a big sound out of a regular song. Round peg, square hole, guys. Not gonna happen. There’s no shame in writing a normal-ass song. We don’t need these overblown epics all the time. I’m gonna blame it on a lack of song writing talent.

Verdict: Passion Pit? More like Massive Shit, amirite?
(I know I used that joke before. I couldn’t help myself.)

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8 responses

6 06 2009
bob

wow, a one minute willie! now, does that really make sense? in reality, you sound like just another massive shit gimmick to me which makes you anything but credible. granted, music is a very personal experience but not taking the time to listen and understand the development of the score and then passing judgement is actually doing a great disservice to the people you hope to influence. after you honestly listen, and only then, can your opinion be justified and then, so be it. but until then, you can only be regarded as child’s play in an adult playing field.

7 06 2009
finefilter

Hi “Bob.” In English, sentences begin with capital letters. Thanks for wasting your time to comment on my stupid blog. I don’t care about your thoughts.

Best,

Brad

6 06 2009
M-L

I liked it. And by the way, I think it’s just a mandolin. Calm down.

7 06 2009
bob

SO, I HAD YOU PEGGED CORRECTLY. YOU REALLY ARE NOT WORTH THE READ, NOR THE BANTERING, AND NOT BECAUSE YOU LIKE OR DON’T LIKE SOMETHING. IT’S YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS THAT’S TERRIBLY FLAWED. NOW THAT WE KNOW THAT YOU DON’T CARE, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MARBLES AND GO HOME … MR. ONE MINUTE WONDER!

7 06 2009
finefilter

You went from no caps to all caps. Pick a side.

Is “one minute willie” a Reston, VA saying? I’ve never heard that one before.

Why do you care so much about this shitty band? Go away. Get off my netz you fruit.

Let the flame war begin!!!1!SHIFT1!

7 06 2009
bob

Dummkopf. You still don’t get it. It’s not that you like or dislike this or any band. It’s not that I agree or disagree with you. That’s what taste is and should be all about. It’s your PROCESS that is flawed and childish. None of us here in Reston, Va. have read anything online from anyone else about any band or artistic endeavor that is so baseless and lacks any substance. You don’t like it, ok, but to begin a listen with “I don’t even know what instrument that is” shows original intent in that you have already made up your mind and even that’s ok if you don’t try do deceive us. Still can’t believe your only comeback was my use of lower case letters! Powerful. Anyway, what’s wrong with Reston, Va.?

8 06 2009
finefilter

I had a rebuttal ready to go but deleted it. Fuck man, what do you expect to gain here? Your commenting on some stupid WordPress blog that I write. I barely give a shit about this blog, this band, and this site, so the fact that you do is very surprising to me.

Post again and get mad. I don’t care. You’re not funny enough for me to keep replying to you. I’m just drunk and bored now.

30 06 2009
Drake – Best I Ever Had (One Minute Rule) « Fine Filter

[…] today’s One Minute Rule. It was a fun journey checking out “music” by groups like Passion Pit and Bowerbirds, but I prefer my shit sugar-coated as opposed to all Pabst-soaked and vegan-y. I […]

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