New Boyz – You’re A Jerk (One Minute Rule)

Bend Over Just A Little Bit More For The Labels

I was doing my normal panic attack inducing ritual of browsing the Billboard Top 100 when I came across these busters at the 24th spot. Their current masterpiece entitled “You’re A Jerk” is gracing the ears of America this summer and creating a new catch phrase that will flame out well before your shirt featuring the song’s title can arrive to your parent’s your house. At least they’re not trying to fool anybody with their group name. A Google image search of the group actually runs out of pictures of them after the 4th page. That’s pretty damn sad for someone with a nationally syndicated Top 25 (barely) radio hit.

Ok, enough foreplay, for I will now hit play on the New Boyz summer jam…”You’re A Jerk.”

I think the video begins with about 9 seconds of a loud heartbeat, which may have been added by the company who uploaded the video. I’m not entirely sure though because it could have just been my body going into cardiac arrest so I wouldn’t have to hear this song. Anyway, in case the video isn’t working properly for you, I’ll write down some of the lyrics.

Opening Chorus:
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk.
You’re A Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk.

Ok, cool. Now that we’re all on the same page we can move forward. And, in case you’re counting at home, that sentence was repeated 16 times. I don’t know about you, but I could’ve listened to that part all day. Especially when it’s sung through a really high pitched computer voice. It’s great! Mark my words, by the end of this year the New Boyz will have at least 8 pages of image results when you Google their name.

Alright alright. Back to the song. Is it just me, or does it sound a little gay when they quietly whisper the name of their group over the intro? In fact, it kinda sounds like “Jerk…new boys.” I don’t know, I’m just sayin’. Oh, and later in the video, after lifting up his shirt to expose his abs, he says “Everybody jerkin’.” I don’t know about you, but I think it shows just how far our country has come over the years. Just a couple dudes hangin’ out singing songs about jerkin’. Nothing wrong with that.

Aaaaand the company who produced the video below has the word “Skeet” in the name. I’m just sayin’.

And, since I didn’t count the first 18 seconds of intro that takes us to 1:18 which means that our time here is up. I don’t call it the one minute rule for nothing.

Verdict: Later fruits! I’m going to pick up some menthols and meet the New Boyz down at the Brass Pole in a couple hours. Toodles!